UP ALL NIGHT: Ministry of Darkness Undertaker was an Asshole!

Ministry of Darkness Undertaker was an Asshole!

Throughout the history of professional wrestling there have been many people of questionable moral character. People who, in the real world, would like be in prison for their actions. I could talk endlessly about any of the all-time great heels and their antics but since I am focusing on spooky stuff for the build to Halloween I am going to talk about the ultimate spooky wrestler, the Undertaker! More specifically, his stint as the leader of the "Ministry of Darkness" stable.

An in-ring career that lasted more than thirty years, with approximately 26 of those playing the same character, you are going to need to be creative to adapt to the demands of the audience and to stay relevant. In 1999 everything on TV was going for shock value and pro wrestling was no different. Let's talk about some of the more outlandish things that the Undertaker did in this year to solidify himself as King Asshole. This evil stint was so infamous that ultimately my parents, who didn't know anything at all about wrestling, heard that there was a satanic wrestler on TV and that children shouldn't be watching that so they told me I couldn't watch it anymore. I was 13 at the time and that just made WWE sound even more metal to me so I would just tape Raw on Monday nights and watch it at like 5 AM before school the next morning while everyone else in the house slept.

He hangs Big Boss Man in a noose!

Following their bad match at Wrestlemania XV inside Hell in a Cell, the Undertaker's brainwashed goons Edge and Christian show up and help beat down Bossman. This is normal in WWE, villain goes too far in punishing his opponent to get the crowd riled up except Taker took it a ridiculous step further than that. He took a fucking noose and hung Big Bossman by the top of the cell. Let's count this as Undertaker's first major crime, attempted murder. This isn't the only time he will abuse poor Bossman, either. He also ended up being one of the many people that Mean Mark liked to hang on his cross symbol.

He kidnaps and tortures Mideon!

Mideon, a low level guy who was a regular on C-grade shows like Shotgun Saturday Night, somehow made his way into one of the key stories of the year. It begins with some random clips of seeing him suspended in what looks like a dungeon. We hear him scream for help and later in the show we see the Farooq and Bradshaw kick him out. Mideon somehow makes it from this torture palace to the arena in no time and is ultimately offered to the Undertaker as a sacrifice. Taker ultimately captures Mideon and brainwashes him into becoming one of his Ministry members by performing a blood ritual and carving an Undertaker symbol on his chest (make sure to check out the merch booth, kids). Add kidnapping and assault to his record.

He beats up cops!

During one of the many multi-man brawls that involved the Ministry of Darkness there comes a point where the police (Pittsburg's finest!) get involved. The rules on where legal lines are drawn in pro wrestling have always been murky but as a rule of thumb if a wrestler hits a non-wrestler then they are at risk of being arrested. During this fight Undertaker starts taking out the Rent-a-Cops like they are flies and ultimately he turns himself into them just after setting his flaming cross/logo symbol on fire. More assault charges, please!

He kidnaps Stephanie!

Stephanie McMahon in 1999 was not the company-ruling villain she is today. At this time she was seen as innocent and uninvolved in the operation of the business, so when mean ol' Undertaker kidnaps her he really seems to be tugging at the heart strings of the audience. Ultimately Stone Cold Steve Austin would go against the grain and help out the McMahons for once by saving her from Big Evil. This leads us to his worst crime of all...

He crucifies the Texas Rattlesnake!

By god, King, he's gone too far! The Undertaker sure as hell will pay for his actions come this Sunday at Rock Bottom: In Your House!

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